Third semester of college is unbearably tuckering. If I’m to whine I’d probably do it in endless manner I could burst myself in tears. Yeah, it’s indeed THAT tuckering :'(
I often whine to some particular people, yet it only reminds the weak-self of me that made me quarrel with somebody back then. Not to mention that the current individuals I whine to are either (a) occurring the similar situation as I am, or (b) undermine this matter and give me that impudent-lecture-of-how-I-oversee-simple-things-which-ain’t-necessary.
What do they do in result? (a) We end up whining and sobbing all over, pitying our own difficult situations which is quite relieving yet gives no significance in soothing the mood to work on it, or (b) makes me go “dammit, you know nothing about me nor my situation and you worth nothing but a good bye with a middle finger sneakily pointed at.”
Yeah. I hate it when people look down on the way I do things my way. No, I’m not saying that I’m the utmost correct about everything. I ain’t a stubborn who’ll keep hitting my head to the wall when I know it’s painful and somebody pulls my head to their embrace instead. It’s just the way I want to do things carefully, systematically, and well-planned/prepared in order to reach the maximum result. I want things to be perfect; and that’s why I sometimes over-think things and oversee simple matters.
However, I know whining won’t get my tasks done alone. But according to my personally tailored mind fabric called experiences, whining does a favor. I won’t see whining as a hyperbolic action to exaggerate certain feelings, but more of a way to express emotions. Isn’t it normal and common to smile when you’re happy? To cry when you’re sad? To laugh when you’re tickled of something funny? To yell when you’re mad at someone? Thus it’s just normal if you whine when you have lots of things in mind that need to be done in short amount of time, when you keep going to campus with bleary eyes because you’re lack of sleeping, when you find your group-mates ain’t obeying the deadlines, and simply when you’re tired. Expressing emotions is a relieve, at least it gives a slight sense of burden-easing, and that’s what keeps me going in killing the works.
Well, some people might see it the other way round, and I can’t be more careless to that.
Anyways, this is another night that I need to get through with widely awake eyes. Final exams are coming in less than two weeks, and I can’t (not) thank my lecturers more for giving us such a laden of assignments we need to clean up before :’)
This is a process. A process hopefully worth something fruitful in the end.