Archive for ‘life’

21 April, 2013

I need a life, indeed

Guy friend : Habis ini kamu mau ke mana e?
Me              : Ngurus berkas..
Guy friend : Ck, kamu tu, semua orang pada complain ke aku lho jadinya!
Me              : Hahaha aku susah dihubungi?
Guy friend : Ora! Pada ngomong, he mbok kae Aya dikandani.. Ojo kekeselen..

8 January, 2013

A Venture of Solitude

Sometimes, you might need.........

Feeling miserable, thinking of how pathetic you are and how pitiful your life is, you just ain’t see life as something happy. You are unhappy. THAT unhappy you feel unable to mingle.

“Why don’t you mingle with people?” “Don’t you have your friends?” “Why don’t you share your burdens with them?” “Why don’t you ask them a favor to cheer you up?”

Because you can’t always have the stage and the spotlights, with all eyes and ears on you. People have their own life, activities, worries, and they don’t need you to add their problems. They have enough already. We can have problems, and so can others.

Might as well wanting people to weep with you, crying all over your problems and pity your life. We may feel sad, sadder or even saddest, but that doesn’t justify us from forcing people to be sad for us. Instead, happiness may be overwhelming them while we’re troubled in sorrow. Who knows? And when that happens, that would be ridiculous if we don’t allow them to be happy. We can’t blame people from being happy when we’re not.

Hence, a decision to create some space sounds like a viable solution, no? In that absence of guilt from burdening others, we can get a moment of solitude to think things through; trying to straighten out the tangled thoughts and jumbled feelings. However, we gotta keep in mind that this seclusion ain’t for good. The world won’t wait. It keeps turning around and life goes on while we’re stuck in this ‘stagnancy’.

But during that moment of ‘astral-projection’-alike, an endear friend kept searching, sending inquiries, even retrieving information through a third party. The same person keeps shocking me with his genuine kindness, by showing a breathtaking level of how-devoted-a-best-friend-would-do-anything-for-us to me. I still remember the very same person popped up at my place with a can of coffee and a bar of chocolate right after I broke up with my ex.. when I was choked by tears I barely had the capacity to say a word on phone.. And countless times that person asks how I’m doing and simply gives me a pat on the head to get me through the days.. I can say nothing but thank you to this person. I am blessed. I am grateful, indeed.

Now that days have passed and serenity’s regained, it’s time to open the shades and let the sun shine on thy, people bump on thy, and thy enjoy life to its fullest ∞

10 December, 2012

His Arrival

This is how I began my December ~

These joy and laughters are overwhelming. In a good way of course ♥

29 November, 2012

Hereby Presents: The Whimperer and The Sleepless Nights

Phew.

Third semester of college is unbearably tuckering. If I’m to whine I’d probably do it in endless manner I could burst myself in tears. Yeah, it’s indeed THAT tuckering :'(

I often whine to some particular people, yet it only reminds the weak-self of me that made me quarrel with somebody back then. Not to mention that the current individuals I whine to are either (a) occurring the similar situation as I am, or (b) undermine this matter and give me that impudent-lecture-of-how-I-oversee-simple-things-which-ain’t-necessary.

What do they do in result? (a) We end up whining and sobbing all over, pitying our own difficult situations which is quite relieving yet gives no significance in soothing the mood to work on it, or (b) makes me go “dammit, you know nothing about me nor my situation and you worth nothing but a good bye with a middle finger sneakily pointed at.”

Yeah. I hate it when people look down on the way I do things my way. No, I’m not saying that I’m the utmost correct about everything. I ain’t a stubborn who’ll keep hitting my head to the wall when I know it’s painful and somebody pulls my head to their embrace instead. It’s just the way I want to do things carefully, systematically, and well-planned/prepared in order to reach the maximum result. I want things to be perfect; and that’s why I sometimes over-think things and oversee simple matters.

However, I know whining won’t get my tasks done alone. But according to my personally tailored mind fabric called experiences, whining does a favor. I won’t see whining as a hyperbolic action to exaggerate certain feelings, but more of a way to express emotions. Isn’t it normal and common to smile when you’re happy? To cry when you’re sad? To laugh when you’re tickled of something funny? To yell when you’re mad at someone? Thus it’s just normal if you whine when you have lots of things in mind that need to be done in short amount of time, when you keep going to campus with bleary eyes because you’re lack of sleeping, when you find your group-mates ain’t obeying the deadlines, and simply when you’re tired. Expressing emotions is a relieve, at least it gives a slight sense of burden-easing, and that’s what keeps me going in killing the works.

Well, some people might see it the other way round, and I can’t be more careless to that.

Anyways, this is another night that I need to get through with widely awake eyes. Final exams are coming in less than two weeks, and I can’t (not) thank my lecturers more for giving us such a laden of assignments we need to clean up before :’)

Phew.

This is a process. A process hopefully worth something fruitful in the end.

26 November, 2012

Bye-Bye Bikini

Well, not that I ever plan to though, but still, it tickles me to think of wearing it :p

Anyways, that was the response coming from Hanif when he visited me in the hospital after the surgery. Yes, I had an appendix surgery in late September this year — I know, I know, it’s been two months from that day yet I had no time writing the story, so, yea~

The situation was kinda bad by the way. I’d been feeling the pain for quite a while, yet I (and my family) ignored it, until came the day when I groaned and whimpered all day since the pain was unbearably. After 3 days of check-ups and such, the doctor said it needed to be surged, and we agreed. It was told at 11 am, and the surgery was going to be at 1 pm. Boo-yaah!

In short, I gotta stay in the hospital for several days, plus I couldn’t drink nor eat until I fart. And this is the more suffering part: I did not eat anything for more than 60 hours. As much as I cried and begged to the nurses they still didn’t allow me, but hey, like you don’t know me; I rebel. And so did I, hahahahahahahaha I ate a piece of banana when my mom was asleep and the nurse had just changed my IV pack hahahahhahahaha thank God my colon was functioning already or else……. hahahahah thank God I survived!

Days in hospital were air-cond-less and boring. I could only lay in bed, moved a bit, learned to sit, stand up, and such, but couldn’t really do much. But happy happy happily some of my friends came to visit! I only let my close friends know the situation and they all came! Ttthaaank youuu I owe you guys much, really :’>

Now here comes the sad part: the scar. I think every surgery leaves scars, and mine is no exception, even though I’m living in this 21st century. However, mine wasn’t stitched — like I feared it to be, but it was glued, so the scar is only a simple line in 5,5cm length. My mom bought me a med, a cream that I have to apply to the scar to prevent it from swelling, and it somehow succeeded but the mark’s not gone at all…..

So here I am, in my 19 years old, now living with a bold scar on around my tummy, and I can’t wear bikini!

— eh, I can, but not as hot Hanif said :’p